Tactician's Life
by Blade Lord Lyn
Summary: The epic diary of a young, stolen tactician named Steve, with the horror of going on a quest and telling his experience duing "Fire Emblem". To sum it up, another diary story featuring the tactician as a writer. Inspired by Ivanfanatic.


Tactician's Life  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: Hey wassup everybody! The name's Blade Lord Lyn!  
  
Soma Krusu: Why are you so exited? Wow, it's a fic. You're such a loser, making a "diary" fic. How many of those are there. You'll never be as good as Ivanfanatic.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: You suck. I was supposed to say that. Me, me, MEEEEEEEEEEEE! And I don't care either. Mine's will be different.   
  
Soma Krusu: Now you're starting to sound like Serra. Wow, Maybe yours will have Erk as a Sage the ENTIRE TIME.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: At least I'm not on "quote and quote" "HIATUS". That's definately a lie. You're just lazy. And NO, I'm not going to have Erk.   
  
Soma Krusu: So? I don't care.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: *sigh*. I'm going to have the... tactician. YOUR tactician.  
  
Soma Krusu: Are you serious?  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: Yes.  
  
Soma Krusu: Um, yeah, this is chapter 1, I guess.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: STOP STEALING MY LINNNNNNNNEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!  
  
Soma Krusu: *shrugs*  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: Go, SERRA!  
  
Soma Krusu: *runs*  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: INFORMATION!!!!! DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE FIRE EMBLEM!!!!   
  
Soma Krusu: Umm, also, this is a retelling of Fire Emblem 7, also known as simply Fire Emblem in America, in diary form.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: I. Hate. You.  
  
______________________________  
  
Day 1.  
  
This sucks. My old journal is gone. All that time writing about me. And it's all gone to waste. BUT, I can start this on a good note. I met a really hot green haired girl named Lyn! It's great to look at someone like that first thing you wake up. I wish she could b- crap, she's looking over my shoulder.  
  
LYN: What are you doing?  
  
ME(My name's Steve!): Nothing.  
  
LYN: Is that a diary? I thought only girls had those.  
  
STEVE: It's my travel journal.  
  
LYN: Riiiiggghhttt. Are you SURE you aren't gay or something, because I won't mind.  
  
STEVE: I'm NOT gay.  
  
LYN: Riiiiggghhttt. Fine, do you think I'm hot?  
  
STEVE: ummmm.......  
  
LYN: *reading journal* You think I'm hot? PERVERT! *slappety slap*  
  
SO! Note to self, do NOT get on Lyn's bad side, that is one strong bit- I mean person. Aw crap, what's going on outside? I'll be back later.  
  
________________________________  
  
Day 1 NIGHTTY NIGHT TIME  
  
OK, two stupid losers were trying to get the job done. Ugh, that was so nasty. Check this out.  
  
Batta: Faster, faster!  
  
Bandit: OK boss.  
  
Batta: Harder, HARDER!  
  
Bandit: OK boss!  
  
Batta: I'm comin'! I'm comin'!  
  
Lyn: *pukes* _  
  
Steve: *pukes* _  
  
Batta: Yes, it worked *sorry yaoi fans*, our disgusting imitation of a yaoi lemon scene made them temporarily easy to attack!  
  
Bandit: *hears sound* Whoa, what's that sound?  
  
Batta: Sounds like two... girls?  
  
Lyn: *sneaking up on them while making moaning sounds*  
  
Steve: *sneaking up on them while making moaning sounds*  
  
Bandit: It's coming clo- *DIES*  
  
Batta: What? I didn't he_ *DIES*  
  
And THAT was my brilliant plan to beat'em. Good night, I'm tired.  
  
____________________________  
  
DAY 2  
  
Wow, this guy I met earlier today, Sain, he's the coolest guy I've ever met! Talk about taste in women! His friend Kent is WAY to uptight. Every time Sain makes a polite comment, BAM! Kent punches his face in. I tried to talk to Kent after the battle with MORE bandits.  
  
Kent: Hello, honorable tactician.  
  
Steve: No need for formalities, Kent. I just need to ask you some simple questions.  
  
Kent: Why yes, that will be fine, honorable tactician.  
  
Steve: OK. Are you going to buy Pokemon Colosseum?  
  
Kent: ...? Um, no?  
  
Steve: Good. Do you like yaoi?  
  
Kent: Um, no?  
  
Steve: OK. What's your favorite fanfiction website?  
  
Kent: Mediaminer.  
  
Steve: Tsk, tsk. And you were so close to passing. It's time for a PENALTY GAME!  
  
Kent: ???  
  
Steve: This time it's... Shove a hot pan down your pants!!!!  
  
Kent: Wait, hold ON!!!! *Screaming in pain*  
  
That's what he gets. Oh, it's Sain. I guess I'll talk to him for a while.  
  
__________________________________________________  
  
DAY 3  
  
Lyn. Has. A. Scary. New. Sword. She handles it with no effort, and can vanish, then reappear, then a person is dead. Scary, isn't it? After we beat that loser Glass, Lyn "played" with her new toy.  
  
Random Lady: Hello pagan, I mean young woman.  
  
Lyn: Did you just call me what I think you call me?  
  
Random Lady: Umm, no?  
  
Lyn: Mani Katti! *Vanishes, slashety slash, reappears*  
  
Random Lady: *DIES*  
  
Lyn: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I posses the Demon, er, I mean the Spirt Sword, the Mani Katti!!!  
  
Scary? Definately. If she wasn't so hot, I probably would've left by now. I mean, I played that Earthbound game. Those Mani Mani statues were EVIL. Mani is like demon, so shouldn't it be the Demon Katti? Whatever, going to the inn with Sain and "Kent".  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
DAY 4  
  
Today, we got two new recruits. One's name is Florina. The other's Wil. Florina is WAY to quiet. How can she not enjoy the company of Sain for a minute or two?  
  
Sain: O beauteous one, please grace me with your presence.  
  
Florina: ...umm....  
  
Sain: Your hair is as vivid as orchids.  
  
Florina: ...err....  
  
Sain: Your voice is as- oh shi*beep* it's Lyn.  
  
Lyn: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FRIEND?  
  
Chibi Sain: *gulps* Talking to her.  
  
Florina: *hides behind Lyn* Nice ass.  
  
Lyn: SAIN! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT! YOU'RE IN FRONT OF ME, HENTAI!!!  
  
Chibi Sain: *gulps* I didn't say it!  
  
Florina: *still behind Lyn* Lyn is SO hot.  
  
Lyn: Sain... you're walking on very thin ice.  
  
Chibi Chibi Sain: *gulps* I didn't say anything!  
  
Florina: *STILL behind Lyn* If I was shorter, would look up her sk-  
  
Lyn: *ANGER* Time to feel the wrath of the Demon Sword, the Mani Katti. Hiya!  
  
Chibi Chibi Sain: FLEE!  
  
Yea. Then there's Wil. He's not bad. He's just a normal average, everyday archer impersonater.  
  
Steve: So, you're the new archer, Wil, right?  
  
Wil: .......  
  
Steve: Yea, I agree. What do you think of our troops, archer?  
  
Wil: .......  
  
Steve: Yup, I hear ya, archer.  
  
Wil: ...I am not an assasin. I am your average, everday archer, named Jaffa- I mean Wil....  
  
Steve: ...Oooook. *runs*  
  
Tired. Beddy Bedtime  
  
___________________________________  
  
DAY 5  
  
ANOTHER new person. He calls himself Dorcas, the Fighter. But something happened at night.  
  
Lyn: *snore*  
  
Florina: *snore*  
  
Steve: *ja**beep*ing *beep*ff*  
  
Dorcas: Now's my chance. Once I get that lance, I can upgrade myself to a Lance Lord! *goes to Florina*  
  
Lyn: *wakes up* RAPIST!!! KILL!!!  
  
Dorcas: No, it's me, Dorcas.  
  
Lyn: *not happy* Awww.... I thought it was a real rapist this time....  
  
Dorcas: Hey Lyn, how come you're a Lord?  
  
Lyn: Because I'm the daughter of nobility.  
  
Dorcas: OK. *takes a lance* Well, I'm the more powerful Lance Lord.  
  
Lyn: Have fun with that, 'Tardass.  
  
Dorcas: Yay! I have a nickname!  
  
Yeah, whatever. Going to the inn with Sain.  
  
________________________________________  
  
NIGHT 12  
  
I didn't see the purpose of continuing the diary for a short time, because nothing happened until we crossed the border. We got two new people, Erk and Serra. After we won the battle, Erk got an attitude with me. I could care LESS if he's a stupid Anima Mage or not. So I looked at his stupid DIARY. Big frikin' deal. Should've given him a penalty.  
  
Steve: What are you doing Erk?  
  
Erk: *sitting down against tent* Writing.  
  
Steve: *looks at cover* The Diary of Erk, by Ivanfanatic? Who's Ivanfanatic?  
  
Erk: *looks up* A... friend. Now leave me.  
  
Steve: No, lemme see, lemme see! *reads* NEW ENTRY: Our tactician is a *beep* whiner who doesn't know when to shut up, and is pratically a male Serra!  
  
Erk: *wait's until Steve leaves* Now, I'll just scratch this out so I don't get in trouble....  
  
Then again, Erk is a lot better then Serra, our Cleric.   
  
Steve: Um, hey Serra.  
  
Serra: *Practicing* Fire! Bolting! Forblaze! Fimbulvetr! Elfire! Gestpenst! Luce! Aura! Mend! Warp! Heal!  
  
Steve: Impressive.  
  
Serra: *eyes flare black* Go. Away.  
  
Steve: *flee!*  
  
Then, I took a nap and had the strangest dream. I dreamt that Lundgren was an avid yaoi fan, and tried to feel up Kent and some bald guy named Wall's Ass. Then, I dreamt that we got a kawaii female Light Magic user. And I saw a stupid red-head Lord, and a big blue haired dude. The red-head kept talking about Digimons, and how he wanted a big giant Metal Grey Mon like dragon Digimons. What a loser. Then I woke up and went to the Member's Only Club with Sain. Nothing really happend there.   
  
____________________________  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: And I am DONE! You're tactician is weird.  
  
Soma Krusu: Yea, sure, whatever.   
  
Blade Lord Lyn: Going to talk to someone?  
  
Soma Krusu: Actually, I'm gonna send out some shout out's to people who's story's are better than your's.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: Hey!  
  
Soma Krusu: Ivanfanatic, the REAL diary writer, DarkLink313 for writing awesome lemony lemons, Jessica Kite for writing my name in her fic, TekWizardXero, please update, your story is great, and claira75 for putting Sain in Lyn's body.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: What about me, I put you in my story.  
  
Soma Krusu: So? You stole my tactician.  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: So? HAHAHAHA!!! Umm... yea, I'll get more done soon, unlike someone I know.  
  
Soma Krusu: Shut up. REVIEW!  
  
Blade Lord Lyn: I. Hate. You. 


End file.
